Have you seen the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic? That was me. I was a Rebecca Bloomwood. I love to shop. I always enjoyed clothes, shoes, getting a new purse or perfume, and department store makeup. My mom, sister and I would go shopping most weekends when I was in high school. There was never a sense of over-spending as we always knew how much money we had. It was one of our favorite past-times. And, whenever I was bored, I would go to the mall.
I graduated from college with a degree in accounting and went straight into public accounting. During my first tax season, I began working long hours in a stressful environment. When I would leave work Saturday afternoon, I would go straight to the mall and stay for hours. I had been stressed out and I needed a way to relieve that stress. I even justified my purchases thinking that at least I wasn't one of those people who was relieving stress at a bar. I was doing something better because I was going to a better place. But, an addiction is an addiction. I was justifying my purchases and I was entitled to what I bought.
As I continued to encounter stressful week after week, last Saturday's trip to the mall no longer filled me up and I had to go back. I believed I deserved a new purchase and each new purchase became more expensive. I was no longer content with purchasing a new outfit from WalMart. I had to purchase something from New York and Company, or The Limited, or Ann Taylor, or the new designer purse from Macy's. I remember one weekend telling Kevin that I had to go to the mall to be in my "element." I was having withdrawal. But in the end all I had was a closet full of nice clothes, nice shoes, and more purses than any one person should ever own. The void I was attempting to fill stayed empty.
~Alesha
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