When Two Debts Become One

When we got married we had different ideas about what we were going to do with our money; ideas that we did not communicate well.  We had different thoughts on spending, different thoughts on saving and different thoughts on who got to do what with it.  We began tracking our money, noting how much was spent throughout the month.  Surprisingly, this showed us that at the end of every month we had spent more than we made.

We lived in an apartment after we got married.  One day we were bored and decided we would look at houses, because eventually we would want to purchase one.  To say that we did not thoroughly plan the purchase of a house is an understatement.  We didn't think about it.  At the end of that day, we were the owners of a 5 bedroom, 3 1/2 bathroom, and 3000 square foot house - for two people.  We moved into this large house with our leftover college fixtures and began upgrading our furniture in order to have stuff that belonged in this house.  But no matter how much stuff we bought to fill the house, it just became emptier and emptier.

We knew how much money we were spending, where it was going, and how much debt we were accumulating.  In spite of that we operated under the assumption that we could take care of it whenever we wanted to.  The next raise, promotion or tax refund would make it all better.  We gave to the church we attended, and Kevin gave money to different causes and helped people when he could because he wanted to be seen as a good guy, a nice guy, and that maybe he was a little better off they they were.  We changed cars every couple of years, trying to get something better.  We brought our daughter into our fully furnished, emotionally and spiritually empty house filled with anger, resentment, and talk of divorce.  And in that season, God met us.  He intervened in a way that would change our lives and our finances.

We were "church shopping" one day and decided to try this church that was located, at that time, in a renovated batting cage arena.  Kevin had been listening to their radio broadcast on his way to work for about a year.  We liked it well enough, but thought we would try some other churches.  Oddly enough, we never did.  Most weekends we would end up back there.  About eight months later, Kevin made the best decision of his life and turned over his life to the Author of Life.  Kevin was seeing that his plans were not working.  His all-about-me life was crumbling all around him and he needed help.  His anger and entitlement weren't fixing anything.  So, he gave it all over in an instant.  In that moment he was changed.  He did not realize it at first but his thoughts were more about me, our daughter, and others around him.

About four months after that we sold our big house and the fancy car.  We used the proceeds from that to pay off our debt, completely. We moved into a townhouse that was about half the size of the house we were living in.  Throughout the summer I began examining my relationship with Jesus and a few days after we moved, I gave my life to Christ as well.

So, we were new creations, living debt free and our marriage was being restored.  One problem though is that we did not change our lifestyle.  Our thoughts about money had not changed much and after 2 1/2 years we found ourselves right back where we were...  in debt, no plans and no real budget.  And we came to the point where we'd had enough.  God had made us into new people and had implanted stewardship on our hearts.  It was time to put practical pieces in place so that we weren't just living with financial freedom, but that we would begin to experience financial peace.  We now operate on an envelope system.  We are getting out of debt.  We are practicing good financial principles and we are teaching these principles to others, including our daughter. 

Experience is a good teacher, but it doesn't have to be just your experience that you learn from.  That is why we are sharing our story and why we have started this blog.  We believe that other people can learn from our mistakes, and maybe even some of our successes.  We are also hopeful that we can share enough information for people to become transformed and begin to experience life financially free.

~Alesha